Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Teresa Strasser is Very Funny

I just came across a post on Huffington Post by Teresa Strasser, who is going to be at Green Apple on Friday Feb. 25 to promote her new book Exploiting My Baby: Because It's Exploiting Me. I had no idea who she was before we booked the event, but now I'm quite interested. Here are a few excerpts from the post, the whole of which can be found here, which is about the drugs and other chemicals she's not allowed to ingest while pregnant or nursing.

Vicodin -- Narcotics are bad. Except for the fact they produce a little something called euphoria. Listen, this drug is a highly addictive opioid that should be used only to manage moderate to severe pain. However, my definition of "pain" is a loose one. Is it painful to sit around pondering labor?

Klonopin -- Relaxes muscles, reduces anxiety, helps you sleep. Take it the night before a job interview or audition, and the entire next day is kissed with a light potion of placidity. If taken during pregnancy, it may cause "floppy infant syndrome." I don't know what that is, and I don't want to know.

Artificial sweeteners -- Yellow packets, blue packets, pink, I don't know what's in you or which of you is better, but you all taste so chemical-y now. You taste like a birth defect.

This could be fun. You have a few weeks to block off space on your calendar. Beer & wine will be provided, so we can toast her self-discipline.

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